Turbulence

How long do you stick something out for before you give up or decide that you need to try something new? When do you decide that enough is enough? Where do you draw the line? How much are you willing to put up with? These were all the questions that ran through my head and went unanswered for weeks and weeks when I arrived in Australia. Melbourne muddied my fresh expectations of a laid-back, sunny life down under with a cold and windy spring that locals assured me was the longest spell of cold weather they had experienced in years. Not what you want to hear when you've arrived from South East Asia with not much in your backpack but bikinis, denim shorts, crop tops and sandals. My first purchase in Australia was a coat.

It wasn't just the weather. I massively underestimated how difficult it is to land yourself in the midst of a new, foreign environment, completely unprepared, and start a brand new life from scratch. I knew nobody in Melbourne, I had no job interviews or flat viewings lined up, I came straight off a flight from Bangkok after 3 and a half months of trekking through jungles, exploring caves and balmy beaches, meditating, and eating all three meals for less than £5 a day. Financially, Australia is a shock that nobody can quite prepare you for. A $16 salad was a painful reminder that I needed to find a job as soon as possible.

We lived in a hostel for over a month. We moved 4 times in less than 2 months. I had to buy a whole new wardrobe from scratch, only to have $400 worth of clothes stolen. When I wasn't job-hunting, I was flat-hunting, and when I wasn't hunting I was getting deeper into a state of worry and anxiety that made me feel utterly lost. I never expected to feel that way when I was living my dream and pursuing what I had worked and saved for for years. I want to travel. I want to see as much of the world as I possibly can. I didn't want want to give all of that up, so I kept going, I kept trying.

When I read travel blogs and look at travel pages and instagrams, they only focus on the positive aspects, the freeing adventure. Whilst it's true that travel is amazing for the most part, I really feel that it's important for me to share the difficulties because it's such an important part of my story. I can only do it now that I am much happier and more settled so that I can write about my experience with some decent perspective, and not in one angry rant (which is pretty much all I did for a good couple of minutes every time somebody asked me how I was enjoying Australia. Sorry to those that were on the receiving end.) It also shows that dreams don't always turn out the way that you expected or like the picture that you had in your head. Once that shatters, what are you going to do? I came to Australia with all these expectations of what I thought it should be like and of what I wanted it to be like. The reality was completely different. Once I accepted that, I could mould the situation and make it work for me.

Things got better. Everything seemed to come at the same time, I got decent work, we found a nice place and moved in immediately. Summer (finally) came, bringing a 38 degree day over Christmas. I've started saving again, and the gnawing anxiety has subsided. I keep having to remind myself that I won't be here forever, that this is just a temporary situation. It took us so long to settle I'm even more determined to make the most of the remainder of my time in Melbourne, and enjoy everything that this city has to offer <3

Travelling space

Ever since we arrived in Australia I've been craving my own space. Three and a half months of hostel hopping had worn me out and although we will travel Australia later on in the year, our first port of call is to find work, settle and save as much as we can. As soon as the idea of work embedded my thoughts my mind shifted. Hostels didn't seem so appealing. I couldn't wait to find work, find a house share and create my own space to live a new life in. Unfortunately it didn't dawn on me that building a completely new life pretty much from scratch takes time. Searching for all of these things at once alongside the personal admin that comes with them (phone number, bank account, generally becoming a person again) is a lengthy process. In the meantime I had to live in a hostel.

Unlike hostels in South East Asia, the majority of people are here on a working holiday visa and this brings a mix of people who are working and living long-term at the hostel or looking for work and getting settled alongside those who are travelling. This made living at the hostel great fun and a huge pain in equal measures. There were a lot of pros; you make a huge amount of friends, are welcomed into a community of like minded people which gives you a good base network in a new city, you pick up a lot of tips and helpful information from your new friends and also have a lot of fun, cheap nights out. Then there are the cons; sharing a small kitchen and cooking a meal with around 15 other people simultaneously, all of whom are cooking a completely different meal (and there's never any forks), sharing a bedroom with 6 other people all with different routines, when you have to get up at 6am for work the next day (especially on a weekend), not having any room to empty out your bag and just generally not having any space.

When I was backpacking South East Asia, none of these things bothered me. Travelling is about a sense of freedom, being wild and spontaneous, not living by routine but on whim, choosing to do whatever you want whenever you want to. Hostels cultivate the perfect environment for this. However, as soon as you have to work, you want to create a routine that sits alongside it. I wanted stability and comfort. I wanted to empty my bag and hang all of my clothes up. I wanted a space to write and blog with nobody else around. When your time is more limited, you seize it, direct it and make the most of it.

After three weeks we found a short-term lease in an apartment in the C.B.D. As soon as I moved in it was a huge breath of fresh air. I felt so much more relaxed. One of the greatest things about travelling (and about anything really) is that everything is always temporary. You can change anything that you want to, and if something isn't working out I need to remember that in time and with a little work and in time it will change. In another three weeks we need to move again! House-hunting is next on the list!

Grace xo