Why I Quit Quitting Sugar

LEGALLY ADDICTIVE

At the start of this year, I decided I was going to give up chocolate. I've made this decision on a whim multiple times throughout my life and never managed to succeed more than three days before, but I was serious about it this time. I had come to the realisation that chocolate was present in my diet pretty much every day. There was not one day I could remember where I hadn't had a little bit of chocolate, even if it was Nutella on my toast or a cake for somebody's birthday (or just because, you know, it's a Tuesday) or a packet of chocolate buttons at the end of the day that may or may not have been family sized. The more I thought about it, chocolate wasn't a treat anymore. It wasn't something I enjoyed. It was a habit, almost like an addiction. When I meditated in Cambodia for 10 days, the thing I found the most difficult to give up wasn't my phone or my camera, it was chocolate. I craved it, deeply. I even dreamt about it. Twice.

So, I quit. I went full on cold turkey, which was extremely difficult, but I was super determined and really serious about this. So serious in fact, that I thought, why stop there? Why not quit sugar altogether? The more I researched this, the more it made sense. Four weeks had passed, and I was feeling really good about myself, really awake and motivated. Whether that was driven by the fact that there was less sugar pumping through my veins or just the pure satisfaction of having actually stuck it out for so long, I'm not sure. Either way I got really into this, I started by reading the I Quit Sugar blog and found other blogs and forums from there. Now, I'm aware that the title of this post is about me QUITTING quitting sugar, which I'll get to , I promise. But first of all...

WHAT DID I FIND OUT?

CRAVINGS DON'T GO AWAY

Nope. Not for me. They got a lot easier to manage, but I'd broken a lifelong habit so I think this had the biggest impact. I was also extremely distracted by focusing so hard on maintaining a sugar-free diet. I read so many blogs where people spoke about it getting easier with each week, even getting to the point where chocolate just didn't seem appealing to them anymore. HOW? I never got that. I still had cravings 6 weeks on just strong as I did in the first week.

CAKE

IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT

Chocolate holds a special place in my heart. To me, it's Christmas at home and cosy nights in and every birthday cake I've had since I can remember. It was a reward for being well-behaved when I was young and my main 'treat' food throughout my life. It was hard to imagine life without it because it had always been so present within it. Maybe not as a raging obsession or obvious addiction, but consistently in the background. Once I'd come to terms with the emotional attachment I had with chocolate, I found it easier to distance myself from it. This meant trying to focus on the enjoyment of an activity without the added "bonus" of enjoying it with chocolate.

Sugar is EVERYWHERE.

I've spoken about it being difficult giving up chocolate alone, but giving up sugar altogether is on another level which verges on the impossible. Sugar is in pretty much everything, even wholegrain bread and pasta. It's in every single condiment you can think of. It's in canned soups, pasta sauces, and even in some spice mixes like paprika. Then you have the natural sugars in all fruits (a banana has approximately 10g of sugar!!) and vegetables like tomatoes and onions. The more I researched the more it freaked me out that sugar was practically unavoidable even in the healthiest of diets. What was I going to eat? I decided that focusing on cutting out refined sugars was the best way to approach this. I'd already started off by cutting out the main offender in my diet - chocolate. Then I moved on to cutting out all sauces and dips. I also switched all of my drink mixers to soda water (also I had no idea that tonic water had so much sugar in it! Anybody else mislead on this?) and seriously cut down on drinking wine. I switched all refined carbs like white bread and white rice to wholegrain and alternative carbs like sweet potato.

I found it really disheartening that even on a very 'clean' diet, sugar in some way, shape or form was always present. I had also taken all of the enjoyment out of my life where diet was concerned. I couldn't look forward to chocolate, or splurge on an Italian meal over the weekend. I even starting freaking out about the amount of sugar in a glass of wine and began to swerve it completely. It got to the point that I was actually a bit scared of having anything with a small amount of sugar in it. So the driving force of my lifestyle change was no longer a motivation for a healthier diet or better well-being, but FEAR. That's not what life is about! I wanted to have wine with my meal without panicking about it for hours afterwards.

I also realised that it was only chocolate that held an emotional attachment, not any other food. Once I came to this realisation, quitting sugar became almost like a punishment rather than a positive enjoyable venture.

So, I quit. In the most anti-climatic way, I didn't splurge or go out and buy a huge cake or anything like that. I just had a tiny bit of chocolate one day. Just enough, what I felt like. Nothing more. I starting eating white bread and pasta occasionally. I started drinking wine again (HOW I MISSED YOU!) Some habits from quitting sugar have stuck with me. I won't touch tonic water again. I honestly had no idea it contained the same amount of sugar as most soft drinks. I also don't pick on chocolate throughout the day or have it anywhere near as frequently as I used to. But I do have it, when I feel like it. Because life is for living, and enjoying, and not punishing yourself or restricting yourself to the point of misery.