When I talk about completing a 10 day Vipassana meditation course the question most people ask is "Did you enjoy it?" It takes me a while to answer this question. 10 days of no phone, no talking (noble silence), no eye contact, no jewellery, no books or writing materials and no music is a huge test in itself. Then you have the meditation, which you practise for 11 hours a day. Meditation is associated with complete chill and relaxation, but this was work. Hard and - at times - frustrating work.
I completed my Vipassana course at a centre in Cambodia, Battambang province, about 2 and a half hours away from Siem Reap. On arrival I filled out a registration form and received a small paper booklet about the rules and guidelines of the course along with my room number (30) and locker key. I was then led to my assigned locker where I had to put my phone, camera, money and other valuables for the next 10 and a half days. Goodbye!
My room is very basic...honestly more like a cell containing my bed, mosquito net (VERY necessary), umbrella, eating utilities and a meditation mat and cushion if I want to meditate in my own room during the allowed hours (which I never chose to do especially after finding a huge gecko-like creature hiding behind my mat on day 6, but I'll tell that story another time). The Bell rings for the first time that evening and we all go to the hall for our first session. At 7pm on the first day noble silence beings.
Leading a simplistic lifestyle was a huge breath of fresh air at first. With no phone to distract me I drink in all of my surroundings in detail. On the first evening the sky turned pink over the fields and I surrendered to the moment competely, no instagram snap, no snapchat, just TAKE IT ALL IN. Breathe.
I also adjusted to a new routine quite quickly. Every day I made my bed, swept out my room, arranged my clothes for the next day. These small and simple tasks become a staple in a routine with no distraction and carrying out these tasks so methodically became a welcome break from the hours of mental challenge. Noble silence was also easier than I thought it would be, especially as you become so focused on the practise. My biggest struggle lay in focusing my mind. For the first few days my thoughts crashed around inside my head, uncontrollable, vibrant and constant. No matter how many times I called it back and began to focus on my respiration I would be an unwitting passenger to my train of thought in less then a few minutes. Then I'd stop mid-thought, realisation would hit me, and I'd have to start over. Patience. In time my thoughts faded. They were still there, but I could hold them at a distance. After three days of focusing on our respiration to make our minds sharp, we moved onto practising Vipassana.
Practising the technique of Vipassana over time enables you to deal more effectivley with cravings or aversions, therefore eradicating misery over time. Vipassana is insight meditation. You focus on the sensations that you feel all over your body and work to remain "equanimous" to them, no matter whether they are enjoyable or painful. For example, I felt a lot of pain in my back during meditation, but instead of focusing on it and thinking "I am in pain", I had to work to be equanimous towards it, and accept that the feeling will arise and pass. The law of nature. Anicca, anicca, anicca. Amazingly this did work over time and the pain did subside during sessions, althouhh it never disappeared completely. It is much more difficult to remain equanimous to positive sensations. After a few days I felt this very subtle tingling sensation over most of my body, growing stronger over time. It's incredible how in tune you become to your body and how susceptible your mind is to each subtle sensation. Rather than enjoying the sensation and longing for it to happen each time I meditated, I had to again work to accept that it will arise and pass. You are not there to "chase" certain sensations or expect them, but to observe the reality as it is for you at that moment.
Additionally, there was a lot of emphasis on misery and how misery is not external, but internal. Misery is created internally due to various factors, something a person isn't happy with within themselves, or about themselves, or the way they may have handled a certain situation for example. This struck a personal chord with me as there have been a good few events in my life that have upset me and affected the way I deal with certain situations (the struggle with my skin being one of them, affecting my self-confidence and having a knock on effect later on in my life in how I think people perceive me and not speaking up when I don't like how I am being treated.) I had a very powerful profound moment during mediation that is difficult for me to explain but had a long lasting effect on me, a mindshift that I know will change how I deal with things going forward. I gained a lot from the course, but this was definitely the most defining moment for me.
A 10 day course if Vipassana is not meant to set you up for a lifetime of happiness. Meditation is a practise for a reason, you are meant to continue to meditate every day, 2 hours, once in the morning and once at night if you want to continue progress and grow. Since completing the course I have managed to practise for only 2 hours in one week (shared dorms in hostels don't create the most appropriate atmosphere for meditation.) However when I get to Australia and settle I plan to make meditation part of my new routine. I cannot express how beneficial I have found it. So did I enjoy it? Honestly, no. It was powerful, it was challenging, it was life changing, and it was intense. I am so glad I did it, as it created a shift that you only get from powerful challenges that stretch you. But wow, was I glad when it was over. 10 days is a long time for a chatty girl like me to stay silent!
I'll end this post with an excerpt from the meditation booklet that sums up the practise of Vipassana more consicley, one that I found so profound:
"The entire path (Dhamma) is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organised religion or sectarianism. For this reason, it can be freely practised by everyone, at any time, in any place, without conflict due to race, community or religion, and will prove equally beneficial to one and all." - Dhamma
Ain't that a beautiful thing?
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