Turbulence

How long do you stick something out for before you give up or decide that you need to try something new? When do you decide that enough is enough? Where do you draw the line? How much are you willing to put up with? These were all the questions that ran through my head and went unanswered for weeks and weeks when I arrived in Australia. Melbourne muddied my fresh expectations of a laid-back, sunny life down under with a cold and windy spring that locals assured me was the longest spell of cold weather they had experienced in years. Not what you want to hear when you've arrived from South East Asia with not much in your backpack but bikinis, denim shorts, crop tops and sandals. My first purchase in Australia was a coat.

It wasn't just the weather. I massively underestimated how difficult it is to land yourself in the midst of a new, foreign environment, completely unprepared, and start a brand new life from scratch. I knew nobody in Melbourne, I had no job interviews or flat viewings lined up, I came straight off a flight from Bangkok after 3 and a half months of trekking through jungles, exploring caves and balmy beaches, meditating, and eating all three meals for less than £5 a day. Financially, Australia is a shock that nobody can quite prepare you for. A $16 salad was a painful reminder that I needed to find a job as soon as possible.

We lived in a hostel for over a month. We moved 4 times in less than 2 months. I had to buy a whole new wardrobe from scratch, only to have $400 worth of clothes stolen. When I wasn't job-hunting, I was flat-hunting, and when I wasn't hunting I was getting deeper into a state of worry and anxiety that made me feel utterly lost. I never expected to feel that way when I was living my dream and pursuing what I had worked and saved for for years. I want to travel. I want to see as much of the world as I possibly can. I didn't want want to give all of that up, so I kept going, I kept trying.

When I read travel blogs and look at travel pages and instagrams, they only focus on the positive aspects, the freeing adventure. Whilst it's true that travel is amazing for the most part, I really feel that it's important for me to share the difficulties because it's such an important part of my story. I can only do it now that I am much happier and more settled so that I can write about my experience with some decent perspective, and not in one angry rant (which is pretty much all I did for a good couple of minutes every time somebody asked me how I was enjoying Australia. Sorry to those that were on the receiving end.) It also shows that dreams don't always turn out the way that you expected or like the picture that you had in your head. Once that shatters, what are you going to do? I came to Australia with all these expectations of what I thought it should be like and of what I wanted it to be like. The reality was completely different. Once I accepted that, I could mould the situation and make it work for me.

Things got better. Everything seemed to come at the same time, I got decent work, we found a nice place and moved in immediately. Summer (finally) came, bringing a 38 degree day over Christmas. I've started saving again, and the gnawing anxiety has subsided. I keep having to remind myself that I won't be here forever, that this is just a temporary situation. It took us so long to settle I'm even more determined to make the most of the remainder of my time in Melbourne, and enjoy everything that this city has to offer <3